What do you think when I ask ….
As you read this question are you shocked that someone is actually asking you how you are instead of a question such as ‘ what can I have to eat?’ or ‘where is my school shirt?’ or ‘what time is dinner?’ As a busy Mum I know there are many such questions asked of you every day.
Or may be you found yourself answering the question. Was your answer ‘ok’ ? Or did you quietly find yourself replying exhausted, worried, anxious, struggling? When someone asks, how you are, do you ever give an honest answer or like most of us do you have a go to reply such as ‘I’m ok’
‘I’m ok’ was my mantra for many years. When I was on my own and struggling I would try and pick myself up by saying to myself, I’m ok. At the time I thought it was a good thought to hold onto and may be when life was really challenging I could never have believed ‘I’m good’, ‘I’m strong’, ‘I’m doing an amazing job in very difficult circumstances’
But now I understand the power of my thoughts I know that ‘I’m ok’ is not that helpful.
- Do I want to live an ok life? No.
- Do I want my friendships to just be ok? No
- Do I want my work to just be ok? No
- Do I want my health to just be ok? No
Hell no, I want to live a life where I feel alive, a life that is full of adventures, full of deep and meaningful relationships. I want to do work that helps others, fulfils me and rewards me financially. I want a body that feels strong and flexible and a mind that is clear and focused. I want to feel excited about life every day, I want to make a difference and I am not going to do any of that if I only aspire to be ok.
Sometimes faking it until you make it feels false but our brains are constantly trying to reassure us that our beliefs are correct. When I say I am ok, my brain keeps highlighting situations where I am ok, but if I said I am good, or I am blessed, or I am grateful, it will equally give me examples of those situations. This is why a gratitude diary works so well. When we write in a gratitude journal each night we start to train our brains to look for things we can be grateful for. Suddenly we notice many things in our day that make us smile or feel happy
I think you would agree that anyone who has a roof over their head, a bed to sleep in and food on the table is ok. But when you have had time without any one of those things and suddenly you get them you don’t feel ok you feel amazingly grateful.
My challenge to you is to eliminate the word ok from your vocabulary. Think about how you want to feel every day and choose a new word. Share that new word with everyone you meet who asks you how you are. It will help you to feel happier and you will also be sharing some of that positive energy with the person you are talking to which is good for both of you. And dont forget that voice in your head. Make sure you eliminate ok from her vocabulary too!
So what is your new word going to be?
#Self Care for Mothers
#The Power of Words
#Know Your Own Worth
#The Family Angel