There are two crucial needs that every human being desires. We need to know that we are loved and we need to have someone who believes in us. Many of our inner demons arise out of one or both of these needs not being met.
I left home at 16. My Dad allowed me to go. He never phoned, didn’t do text messages or send cards. Somewhere deep down I knew he loved me but that niggling voice in my head regularly asked “If he loves you why doesn’t he contact you?” I didn’t have an answer and I felt very alone in the world.
Young children have no doubt that their needs will be met because they trust that their Parents love them unconditionally. Sadly, as the years pass by they start to believe that parental love is conditional. May be their Parents only love them if….
(i) they do well at school,
(ii) they behave well,
(iii) they eat their green vegetables,
(iv) they stay quiet.
The list goes on and as the number of conditions arise they start to question if their Parents have faith in them.
I know it would break your heart to think that your child did not feel secure in your love or your belief in them but every day your child is surrounded by extremes of negativity. Blame and hatred are everywhere in a world that seems to be at war with itself. In order for your child to trust in love they need you to reinforce your love for them, because…
Your Love Creates the Foundation upon
which Your Child Can Grow.
So how can you share your love today?
1. Say the words.
It doesn’t matter if you say ” I love you“, or “I love you to the moon and back“, or “I love you all the world” Whatever your phrase is to remind your children that you love them make sure you say it every day. Don’t be put off by a teenager who shrugs in response, they secretly want to hear the words too. And don’t forget about your adult children. They may have children of their own but they too still want to hear the words. It took my Dad over forty years to say I Love You but it meant the world to me when he did.
2.Write the words
Macaru Emoto showed that written words had an incredible effect on water crystals. Do check out his work at http://www.masaru-emoto.net/english/water-crystal.html if you have not come across his experiments before. The results he got were amazing. If the word Love can create more beautiful water crystals imagine what effect waking up to the words, “You are so loved”, stencilled on your wall, for example, could have on your child.. Surrounding ourselves and our children by loving phrases has a positive affect on everyone.
3. Surprise them
Arrange a surprise, it can be something little, but something that will make them smile. Don’t wait until it is their Birthday or Christmas, or because they have done well at school. Create a surprise today simply because you love them just as they are.
Sometimes when we show others how much we love them we can be shocked at the wave of love that comes back in our direction. How did you choose to show your love today? How did your child react? How did it make you feel? Please do share your experiences below.