Life is about Experiences so what is your experience of Motherhood? Is it having your heart sing every time your child says I love you?
Is it that feeling of overwhelming pride when they get a certificate in assembly? Is it time snuggled up in bed together reading bedtime stories?
Are those the images that came into your head when I mentioned the Experience of Motherhood?
Or were your imagining piles of ironing, constantly picking things up off the floor, mums taxi, thoughts of food and meal plans whizzing round your head, or chasing your tail for 6 hours while your children are in school? Is your experience of motherhood more Stress than Bliss?
Many of you have told me you get snippets of experiencing your Motherhood dreams but the reality is much more mundane and to be honest exhausting. You rarely get thanked for the tasks that you do complete but the complaints come in thick and fast if there is something that you forget to do or ran out of time to do. Does this sound familiar?
So how can you improve your experience of Motherhood?
1.Mindful Actions – Do It With Love
What do I mean by mindful actions? Well let me give you an example. I personally do not like ironing. I didn’t like it when it was just mine I had to look after and now there are 4 of us. I empty the washing machine and that voice in my head complains about all the ironing I am creating. I watch the piles of ironing grow all the time reminding myself how much I hate it. Does this sound familiar? Well that was what I was doing until I remembered about being mindful. It wasn’t the ironing that was making me feel bad, it was thinking about it all the time in a negative way! And while I was thinking the ironing pile just kept growing!!! The mindful way to deal with it is not to think about it before hand and then when I do the ironing to iron each article with love for the person whose clothing it is. Do I now love to iron? No. But it is not a dominant negative thought in my head anymore.It does not make me miserable.
Of course another way to solve my ironing problem would be to get someone else to do it! May be this would mean paying someone who loves ironing. Before I moved house I used to have a wonderful lady who did my ironing. She loved it, she was incredibly quick and made a superb job of the bed linen. I felt grateful every time I dropped my ironing off. There are so many jobs you seem to have to do in a day that sometimes it is just not physically possible to get them all done. Think of the job you dislike the most. IS there someone else who can do that job for you? How much better would you feel if you could delegate this job? We often believe we should be able to do everything and then we feel like we are failing. when we don’t get everything done.. But as Oprah said” We can have it all. Just not all at once”
More than anything your children want your time, your undivided attention. Make time to be with them, to listen to them, to focus on them. It is one of the greatest gifts you will give them and it is a gift that gives back to you. We pride ourselves on being able to multi task but multi tasking doesn’t enhance your experience of motherhood. Stories at bedtime create special moments in your child’s day. It is a time when they have you to themselves and those moments are precious. Times together as a Family are also precious. It could be meal times without technology, a night in snuggling up and watching a film together or a day out together as a family. Whatever you choose to do make sure there are regular times during your week when you enjoy being together as a family.
Sometimes when we are focusing on the to do list we miss out on the joys of motherhood. Our brains are amazing but what we focus on is definitely what we see. If you need any proof of this take a look at the monkey business video on You tube, the link is below. So how do we change our focal point? Well a gratitude journal is a great way to start. Choose a beautiful journal that you want to write in. Each night before you go to bed right one sentence about each family member stating why you are grateful that they are in your life. This is such a simple exercise but you are training your brain to start to look for the ‘good’ stuff. You will be amazed at how this simple exercise starts to change what you see and changes the way family members treat you. Don’t take my word for it. Try it for 21 days and then let us know how you got on. I can tell you this simple exercise has changed many relationships for the better.
Being a parent is the most important job you will ever do. It does involve a lot of mundane tasks but don’t let those tasks over shadow the joy and blessings that Motherhood can bring to your life. Please do share your experiences of being a Mum. What frustrates you the most? What do you love the most?
If this article touched you and you would like to know how you can work with Karen to make your experience of motherhood less stressful do contact her on 07818418818 or email firstname.lastname@example.org to book a Discovery call