Are you a widowed Father who suddenly found himself with sole responsibility for your children?
Or are you a Father going through a divorce who is worrying that the divorce will affect your relationship with your children?
Dad I want you to know that I believe Fathers are equally as important as Mothers when it comes to parenting your children. I know from personal experience that Dads can can do a very successful job of bringing up their children because my Dad had to do just that as my Mum died when I was only 6 years old. When I look back I so admire my Dad for the way he handled those ‘difficult’ conversations about growing up. There were other mother figures in my life at that time and he could have left such conversations to them but he didn’t. No matter how awkward it may have felt to him he didn’t show it. Ironically I did not always show my feelings to him either. Even at 6 I knew he was devastated about losing my Mum and I did not want to add to his sadness by showing him all of mine.
Recently I have found myself supporting a friend who is a Dad, a great Dad, but who is now going through a difficult divorce. The divorce is only in its early stages but already his children are asking difficult questions and their worries and fears about what is happening to them is starting to show in their behaviour. I was able to say to him ” Don’t worry, this is my area of expertise. I can help you”
In either case, with the loss of a Parent or Parents going through a divorce your children will lose their sense of security, they may feel sad, angry or abandoned. In some way they may feel responsible, if only they had been better behaved may be the tragedy would not have happened to them. They may also feel frightened and lonely. When my Mum passed the adults around me told me to “Be Brave” I know they meant well but that phrase resulted in me putting a lid on all my emotions and carrying them around with me for the next 40 years! It also meant I chose to ‘give up’ my childhood to take on responsibilities that were not mine to take. I wanted to help, to make life better, but sooner or later, much later in my case, all those emotions come bubbling to the surface and needed dealing with. We now know it is far better to feel our emotions, no matter how painful, in order to release them and whether you are a widowed Father or a divorced Father when you are going through your own pain it is very difficult to help your children go through theirs.
I can help. I can be that safe independent person who your children can talk to. Someone who will not judge but with whom your children will feel safe to share their feelings without letting you down. I can share with you valuable tips to help you deal with those difficult questions and I can give you tools that you can use if your child demonstrates bad behaviour outwardly because of the pain they feel inside. I can help, not because you cannot do this by yourself but because it is easier to do it with some support. I can help not because a female perspective is better but because sometimes it is easier for an independent adult who is not emotionally involved to see a clear solution to each issue as it comes up.
Dad I would like to say to you the same thing I recently said to my friend…… “Don’t worry, this is my area of expertise. I can help you”
If this blog is resonating with you and you feel a longing for some support to help you and your children through a very difficult time in your lives I invite you to book a Discovery Call with me where we can talk about your situation, your children and how I may be able to help you. The call is free and many Parents have told me they feel much better simply by sharing their worries and concerns with me. If you feel this would be helpful to you contact me today either by emailing me on firstname.lastname@example.org or telephoning on 07818 418 818
However if you do not feel in need of personal support right now but would find my newsletter, which shares my thoughts and recommendations, of value to you then please go to my website at www.karen-lynne.com and sign up for my 7 Tips for Harmony in Your Home. You will receive these useful tips by return and then once a fortnight will also receive my newsletter.
I am truly sorry that you are going through such a stressful time, I know from personal experience that life does get better and you will get through it and if you need some support I can help.
Best wishes to you and your children
Karen Lynne, Your Family Angel